Paresh Tiwari PDF Print E-mail

 

The Mirror of Erised


On her swollen belly, they smear an odourless - colourless gel before sticking countless leads and pods and we first see him as a tiny pulsating dot in a sea of grey, later we would hear his heart beat like a steady rhythm of a swaying ocean. For me it did not nearly stir as many feelings as it should have.

How is a man supposed to feel when his wife holds up a positive pregnancy test strip, when the doctor congratulates him, when he notices the foetus sucking a thumb, jerking up a leg, turning head on an ultrasound screen? How is he supposed to feel when he holds his baby for the first time, still smeared in body fluids, gurgling, uneasy - much smaller than he had imagined? Time has flown by between diaper changes and warming feeds... now three years since I first held him, he bustles with energy, running from one corner of the house to the other - mindless of the bumps and bruises, breaking his play only to hug me for no apparent reason, stacking up his toys, grouping them by colours, shapes and sizes, shouting out the alphabets at the top of his lungs...

His doctor says he has difficulty processing and integrating his senses... how is a father supposed to feel...?

heaven's river –
the first journey of 
turtle hatchlings

 

Footnote - The Mirror of Erised is a mystical mirror discovered by Harry in an abandoned classroom in Philosopher's Stone. On it is inscribed "erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohs i". When mirrored and correctly spaced, this reads "I show not your face but your heart's desire." As "erised" reversed is "desire," it is the "Mirror of Desire."

 

 

Paresh Tiwari

Paresh Tiwari, an Electrical Engineer, is currently based in Hyderabad, India, where he lives with his wife and child. He took to haiku and the associated forms in the winter of 2012 and is currently learning the nuances of the art of writing haiku, which he expects to continue doing for a lifetime.